autumns wind

I'm filing these weekends away in my heart so that I can relive them on those nights when tears come easy and nothing tastes right. These automn winds are whispering winters promises and picking up golden leaves to blow them in my hair. Things are changing like they always do and the only difference is that I finally don't love him anymore. I can see him and buy him a buritto and know that he is destined for sadness because he has not smelled compassion from anyone but me and I am gone from him now. I will not hate him because hating anyone tears down the walls of my universe and makes me bitter. I love the morning too much to be bitter. I love this life too much to hate.
His best friend calls me late at night to stumble over confessions of "love" and I'm sorry but I could never kiss you. You and your jeep and your bad directions and your promises. These boys need to stop watching The OC, it makes them too damn dramatic and they get silly with ultimatums. Him or me, this or that, never or eternity. Just shut up, I have too much on my plate without your college boy problems. I will listen but I will not love you. I will love my best friend and my mom and myself. That's all the love I'm handing out for now so you can wait in line or surrender to my truth. <3