Somebody's Hero

watching Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants with my sister while the sun shines through the cracks in our closed blinds and mu stomach tosses and turns the chicken dumplings i downed a half hour ago. this summer is dragging on and on but at least the nightmares have stopped and i can sleep again. I guess i was dragging around all this bad energy but once that floral pant wearing artist put her magic hands on me i was centered again.
yesterday we ran accross car filled roads, dodging trucks filled with trashy hicks who hollered at me out the window and honked with dirty fingers. they don't see me- just a tall blonde in a tank top. they aren't close enough to see the blue eyes, peace sign necklace, dreams of european cafe's and 18th birthdays. they don't see an artist, a girlfriend, a daughter, a dreamer. they see a piece of ass. sometimes this world makes me sick. open your eyes all you gritty truck drivers of america, that seventeen year old you honked at is so much more than another girl to honk at.
you held my hand even though i was dripping sweat and my toes were still caked with dirt from the soggy lawn at the Dave Matthews concert. we found refuge in Barnes n Noble while you flipped through UFC magazines and I looked at glossy pictures of toned perfection. 31 moves to get your abs toned this summer. 20 foods to slim down. how about 100 reasons why i should put down this magazine and start loving myself in spite of the fact that I am so far from these starving beauties? that's what i should be reading. by the time we picked up your car from Pep Boys my purple eyeshadow was smudging and my head felt too heavy on my neck. thankfully, I had you to rest it on while we waited in traffic and your dad yelled at you to get your head out of your ass. we both laughed silently as the sun beat down on your adorable farmers tan. If my camera wasn't so heavy I'd be snapping pictures of us at that red light, but it is so the last time i felt my finger on that button was at my cousins birthday party. we filled three tables at Friday's and her strawberry blonde hair looked shinier than ever. Her blue eyes are so full of the world and when she looks at me I feel like i could actually be somebody's hero. When she reaches up for me to hold her,
I feel like I deserve to be looked at that way. I feel like I want to hold her forever.

snapshots of my summer

walking around the movie theatre as the sun set and made everything pink and blue and orange. this time of night the world turns into a hippie's tie dye dream and i snap pictures of the sky while I breathe in all this Ohio air and listen to the two supermodels on either side of me laugh. they are beautiful and geniuine and i know you think your arms look flabby but i promise you- they're not. pree teen boys with messy hair and cargo shorts whistle as we walk by and you say they probably got droppped off by their mommy. i laughed- until i rememmbered i had too.
Dinner at PF changs and goosebumps painted pictures on my tan arms while i tried to work those plastic chopsticks and watched that brown eyed beauty twist the ring around and around her fragile finger. too in love to take it off but much too free to wear it for eternity. so sure of herself in that polka dot dress- people are never what you expect them to be. she is so much more than just another pretty girl. after dinner you picked me up and i couldn't see that face i love because your windows are tinted too dark. twenty years old now and you still play your music so loud it makes the car shake, and catch slimey frogs on sunny days, and kiss me like it's the first time. these are just some of the reasons i love you. i know i told you to grow up but i don't know what i'd do if you lost that twinkle in your eye. i take it back. stay just like this forever. stay mine. we drove down windy roads until we reached his grandmas house. he lives there now with that blonde lifegaurd who makes me laugh so hard when i least expect it. she curled up on his couch while he demonstrated UFC moves and refused to make her macaroni. these nights seem so insifgnifigant but im writing them down because they are the tiny moments of summer i want to rememmber- the way i bury my head in the curve between your neck and your shoulder and breathe deep. sweat and cologne and sunflower seeds. these are the snapshots of my summer.