Insomniac attack

Three AM again and insomnia is winning, tired of battling with stiff sheets and creaking floorboards
this computer is my neon escape from open eyed nightmares and shoving my face with hawaiin chocolates hidden under the stove in the kitchen
theres a man that lives next door who stands in the street naked and peeks through open blinds
i see him in his truck in the mornings and his green eyes give me goodbumps because that is the kind of world that we live in
lost naked men in the middle of the road. i dont know weather to laugh or cover the eyes of every child I've ever loved.
I want more than anything to fall asleep and dream of a revolution.

Caramel Macchiatos and Pad Thai

Today was caramel macchiatos and pad thai in a sunlit coffee shop. Crossing my legs and biting my lip while i spill a lifetime of stories all over a stranger who loves me. By the time I remmembered how to breathe my cup was empty and six hours had passed. All that truth made my lips chapped and my throat dry and I'm still missing those meaningless days in a lovely suburbia but now i know
I'm stronger than I thought I was.
I'm strong when I rock him to sleep and turn off the news. I'm strong when I remmember the words to all those songs and lose myself in obscene poetry. I'm strong when I realize

this is just life.

not a sitcom

not a novel

I can't live inside phony snapshots and broken promises, I can't be terrified of things i can. not. change.

But I can know that someday

this pain

will make me a masterpiece.

I can know that someday these words will just be a foggy memory, and we will laugh about the weeks I spent alone.

But until that someday comes, I refuse to live in promising tommorows and artistic nights of insomia.

I'm starting to live

right

now.