capable of love

bare feet on hot black pavement
i ran accross four roads to get away from that condo.
the one where i screamed and she cried and we slapped eachothers wrists in anger.
the one where we watched The OC for two days straight and drank in the drama like diet cokes on summer nights.
the one where i finally yelled into her beautiful face and regretted it for a million footsteps while i ran in my pajamas down familiar streets.
and now,
i do need to apologize.
because now i have let my truth break hearts and dim spirits and it's haunting me even as i add senior pictures of lovely best friends to my computer.
it's haunting me as i look forward to country concerts with my brown eyed boyfriend and eat lightly salted pretzels that taste like honey.
it's haunting me and im sorry but i am not ill.
i am not sick with society or broken from this life. i am not in need of a savior or a facility to mend my wounds. i am whole and unbroken and unscathed by these daily sitcoms. i am capable meditation and peace and music. i am capable of apologizing. i am capable of forgiving.
i am capable of love.