capable of love
bare feet on hot black pavement
i ran accross four roads to get away from that condo.
the one where i screamed and she cried and we slapped eachothers wrists in anger.
the one where we watched The OC for two days straight and drank in the drama like diet cokes on summer nights.
the one where i finally yelled into her beautiful face and regretted it for a million footsteps while i ran in my pajamas down familiar streets.
and now,
i do need to apologize.
because now i have let my truth break hearts and dim spirits and it's haunting me even as i add senior pictures of lovely best friends to my computer.
it's haunting me as i look forward to country concerts with my brown eyed boyfriend and eat lightly salted pretzels that taste like honey.
it's haunting me and im sorry but i am not ill.
i am not sick with society or broken from this life. i am not in need of a savior or a facility to mend my wounds. i am whole and unbroken and unscathed by these daily sitcoms. i am capable meditation and peace and music. i am capable of apologizing. i am capable of forgiving.
i am capable of love.
5 comments:
To FORGIVE is DIVINE and I Wish YOU Mallory a HAPPY Sunday! and LOVE is the greatest gift of all! Do YOU read the Bible? I just turned to something we would both like because I am FIGHTING depression at this time! I WILL NOT give into it! Anyway, I turned to these verses, Romans:8;35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation or distress, or persecution, or famine,or nakedness, or peril, or sword?36:As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long;for we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.37:Nay,in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us38;For i am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present,nor things to come39;nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. I also turned to Colossians;Chapter 3;2Set your affection on things above, not things on the Earth. Well, I could go on and on but enough is enough, let me know some of your fav verses girly! If YOU don't have a Bible I have one I could send YOU! Love to Love YOU! (((((Mallory)))))God Bless YOU! love and prayers, Cinda
Yes – capable of so much. We are all capable of great things, great love, great sorrow, great joy, and great pain. Ignoring the bad and refusing to acknowledge it is just as damaging as ignoring the good in us. All that is good in us, and all that is bad in us comes from the same place – our experiences up until this very moment. Every good day, every bad day – makes you, molds you into “what” you are. The mistakes and lessons cannot be avoided, and we must all crawl on our knees in order to stand sometimes.
But what makes us “who” we are is what we do with all the information given to us. You know the source of your pain – you know the source of your strength. What do you do with that information? Lash out at those who love you? Attack the weak to prove your strength? If you think about the real cause of your pain that day – I am sure you will see it was far removed from the situation at hand.
Trying to establish control over your own life by grabbing the throats of those around you doesn’t, and will never – work. Just like it doesn’t work when those who try to control you grab your throat. It just makes the struggle harder.
You seek the freedom to take control of your own life – as we all do. But you will find the tighter you try to hold on, the less control you have. You see it in the other’s around you… observe, reflect, look inside – find your truth. No more innocent victims.
Just popping in to say HI!!! and let YOU know I'm thinking of YOU! sweet girly!!! Happy Wednesday! xo, Cinda
Is It your BIRTHDAY???!!!today the 18th?!! Mallory???!!! if it is I wish YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!SWEET girly!!!Love and prayers, Cinda
Mallory :)
You have no idea, I am in love with this post... and the one previous too! Beautiful.
I *heart* your blog so much!!!
~Georgia
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