college realities

I spent today shopping for zebra bedspreads and sunny shower curtains with two beautiful brunettes that have the same smile and my cheery eyed dream interpreting goddess mom. we ate meatballs and swedish fish and hugged when it was over, but oh
it hasn't even really started.
in less than a month all these college fantasies will become a reality and as I walked through my hippie paradise of a room I touched all the tiny things I might have to leave behind because there is no room for them in my new world- the Indian Cupboard i begged my grandma to buy me and covered with plastic pearls and glitter, the tiny tin bucket with the vines weaving around the handle my mom gave to me at our sacred gathering, the old battered Rent, Beatles, and Madonna posters that have watched me journal and cry and dream countless times from their home on my wall. I think of all the treasures from my childhood that don't belong in this black and pink haven that will soon feel like home- and something inside of me collapses with the realness of it all. something in me is scared and anxious and aching for her mommy and her phsycotic dog.
Today was the first time I've seen you since I felt naseus in your car and spent a sleepless night in my sisters bed. We bickered and kissed and fell back into this easy routine of loving eachother that feels like it started years ago.
hard to believe it was only last summer.