Caramel Macchiatos and Pad Thai

Today was caramel macchiatos and pad thai in a sunlit coffee shop. Crossing my legs and biting my lip while i spill a lifetime of stories all over a stranger who loves me. By the time I remmembered how to breathe my cup was empty and six hours had passed. All that truth made my lips chapped and my throat dry and I'm still missing those meaningless days in a lovely suburbia but now i know
I'm stronger than I thought I was.
I'm strong when I rock him to sleep and turn off the news. I'm strong when I remmember the words to all those songs and lose myself in obscene poetry. I'm strong when I realize

this is just life.

not a sitcom

not a novel

I can't live inside phony snapshots and broken promises, I can't be terrified of things i can. not. change.

But I can know that someday

this pain

will make me a masterpiece.

I can know that someday these words will just be a foggy memory, and we will laugh about the weeks I spent alone.

But until that someday comes, I refuse to live in promising tommorows and artistic nights of insomia.

I'm starting to live

right

now.