falling in love with Allen Ginsberg and chicken fajitas

Creaking floorboards in an Idaho gettaway and there's a fly buzzing around that beautiful light in the hall. These floral bed sheets are old and musty and i wonder whose tired body has dreamed in the same spot as mine. I wonder if they believed in God.

I wonder if they were in love.

I wonder if they ever had nightmares as terrible as mine.

Today i fell in love with Allen Ginsberg, chicken fajitas, and a million brown eyed boys.

the world used to watch him kiss his girlfriend in the hall. Corner maybelline lashes against an aluminum locker and promise her it was REAL. Steal her lips before second bell and there they were watching the whole thing.

High school passion is so damn beautiful.

Probably because those kisses are just an illusion and in a month that boy will be learning to love some blonde haired hippie's favorite band while that girl bats her lashes at his stoned best friend in a cold basement.

Some days,

I can't tell the difference between love and a car crash.

It doesn't matter, both are fatal.

Metal hearts manufactured by Victoria Secret adds and happily ever afters.

If it isn't a fairy tale

it's porn and love falls somewhere in between.

For now, I'll smile at boys with pierced ears and empty eyes. I'll eat meatballs at hockey games and wish I could be drunk on you again.

I'll cover my eyes with cheap golden aviators and wear knee high boots with black dresses. I'll discover Buddah and finally forgive myself for not being able to save them.

I'll come across old family photos that make me want to cry and watch a sweat covored preacher scream about Jesus.

"The savior is coming!"

"Where will YOU be when He rises again??"

Drawing peace signs on my wrist and falling in love.

I'm sorry, I want to put faith in your black and white suit because your face is so sweet and your wrinkles show a lovely history. But the pages of your Bible are tattered and torn and written by the hands of men like my father and he boys who have broken my heart.

I believe in first kisses and lullabies. I believe in stained glass windows and lightening bugs and poetry. I believe in record players and falling to your knees when you can't fight anymore and you should'nt have to.

I believe in a soul so divine that it can love a world full of sinners and forgive a universe of lovers.

I believe in the God we find when we admit that sometimes there are things we can. not. change.

Sometimes there are fruits we are not meant to eat.

We do not live in an Eden,

But Oh,

We do live in love.